When I received my notice from the North Pole Headquarters, I was very wary of my assigned location. I kept my wits about me, as I feared being hornswoggled by this rowdy bunch of hooligans. But over time, they have proven themselves worthy of your visit.
When I first arrived, I would have bet you a bag of snowman poop that these geeks wouldn't have been able to keep it together for a month whilst I snooped around their work areas.
Sitting at their workbenches, they would stare into their light-boxes all day. Poking on their clicky-clackers, they would do things to "meet the goals of a business", but I am suspect. All the talk of SEO, WSM and PPC, I was beginning to think they were speaking in code to keep me from finding out their naughty acts.
As it turns out, the alphabet soup they were using was just shorthand similar to our Elvish Candy Code.
It has been a crazy month down here at WebArt, but I have managed to take meticulous notes regarding the status of the humans. Due to your time constraints, I have provided some brief notes below. For the entire list, please contact Sparkles in the filing department.
He has been working very hard to expand WebArt. They have many clients in a far-away place called Roanoke. He has been working to set up their brand new office with partner Bruce Bryan from B2C Enterprises. This place is set to open in January 2015.
He is the lead developer, and has been working hard all month. He works closely with the WebArt designer to meet goals of the clients. Charley has completed 18 projects! (They tell me this is a good thing.)
He is the lead designer that is in charge of making things pretty. This month he worked hard, completing over 30 graphic design projects and six websites.
Everybody loves her! They say she's new, but at the pace she is working, I can't be sure. She is very creative and has a great passion and love for her clients. Kristen continues to bring great results by getting the most value possible out of their "websites". (Whatever that is)
He has become a marketing super-elf for his clients. I keep hearing people talk about the results he brought to a particular client. They have been nothing short of astounding. He set them up for great success in 2015.
She has been the glue in the gaps and an extremely helpful human to everyone. Her customer service and refining of processes has been making things better. As the new project assistant, she is great at orchestrating a successful team environment.
WebArt's content human, she has been writing great stuff all month. I have become friends with her dog named Embree. DOG must mean furry foot warmer, because Embry can always be found under her workbench.
This human has been looking far and wide to bring in lots of new WebArt family members for 2015. He has been working with the program managers to deliver the best results for their clients. Brad has been acting as a marketing consultant for digital and traditional marketing programs, as well as working very hard to solve problems for other businesses.
This month has been a great time, and I am proud to announce that human Brad has offered me a full-time position as the Chief Cheer Coordinator.
I have submitted Kringle Form 9678-CS to relocate, and remain stationed at my WebArt location.
McJingles the Elf
Chief Cheer Coordinator at WebArt
P.S I have submitted form 28590-BAD to have Stewie transferred to the naughty list. His shifty eyes, and sneaky actions make me suspicious. Something seems "a bit off" with that guy.